I call it being a polite, persistent, pest. I totally respect that your religious view (whether or not you consider yourself atheists, this really is a religious decision, a lifestyle choice), I totally respect that your religious view may be equality-driven feminist relationships. Make sure that everything you support is not flushed down the toilet because of arrogance, intolerance and a misplaced desire for controlling peoples lives. When you mention being a submissive wife, peoples minds tend to go in either one direction or the other. Beautiful Surrender: 13 Godly Christian Wives The first thing we were told was a regularly scheduled spanking, and maintenance spanking, was needed, and it should be daily in the beginning. It is interesting to note that a our lone wolf twister of Scripture is not content to merely advocate for and justify the abuse of wives (again, all application of coercive authority is abuse). But often I would struggle or try to escape but he was big and strong enough to hold me in place and then would tell me I was getting more for disobeying and struggling. I dont believe Bill Gothard is a Christian, I think he is a sadistic man that worships himself and wants other people to worship him. And you seem to see yourself not as a good child, a child of the light, but as a dark child. We have no set rules so to speak. (the link to their blog is currently on the upper left hand side of the page): When you first commented on here, I was prepared to hear you out I know someone personally who has fetishes, and hes admitted to me that can be a struggle for him in his marriage. There are millions of non christians practicing domestic discipline, and millions of Christians practicing it too. Im an adult who is in control of her own life. We continue to call it abuse, despite the fact that it happens between two consenting* adults, and we continue to prosecute those teachers who abuse their students. That day we were getting ready to spend the day with my parents. I would however disagree with the notion that these laws were well-inspired. Yet you say, For what reason? Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. YOU are calling domestic discipline justice. I cant remember if you said how long you were married. Comfortable, but very childish, very full coverage stuff. In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. Why? I am sorry. Not only do their wives accept the particular program of domestic discipline that I teach but through this particular domestic discipline program these husbands have achieved 100 percent submission from their wives. Ben at first thought I was joking, but when I took him to the scripture and showed him, and had my pastor sit him down and teach him about CDD, he saw the light, reluctantly, and agreed to be the HOH of our home. There is no longer a power struggle between two people who both want to be in charge. It is a confession of our dependence on one another and an acceptance of our natural roles.Do you submit to the wishes of your boss? We dont advocate for nouthetic counseling here. There are some real sins out there. This is the right relationship for people to live in my opinion. We have been together since I was 15. But when you seriously contend that there mere fact that our Lord appeared first to women and told them to tell the men negates the creation ordinance, Deborahs curse of wimpy Barak and the clear words of the Holy Spirit on this subject through the Apostle Paul, then I suggest you have really lost touch with the will of God. So while I believe that Biblically speaking, married couples do have a great amount of freedom in how and when they make love, that does not extend to humiliation and injury. My father and two of my grandfathers had no business leading, and had no business having authority. 1 Peter 3:7. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. I went ahead and watch that whole video of him on that day and it would have been more in context as to what Pat Robertson was sharing. Who cares? ;) I am neither kinky, nor a doormat. She will need to learn some self-control with not crying out, or bite a pillow to keep quiet. Just about to board the 2nd leg of my flight to Chicago. Resistance During a Spanking Really, if you get off on spanking your wife (or are a wife who gets off on being spanked by her man), just chalk it up to your personal choice and stop trying to find biblical proof texts for it. Does that make bullying okay? Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline I cannot begin to identify with you in your suffering. Those who advocate domestic discipline do so on the basis of several passages taken out of context and wildly interpreted. Young boys in these homes will likely learn this behavior of entitlement over women and repeat it. Rather, please accept it as simply expressing a differing point of view. It makes complete sense that someone raised in this culture would extend it to domestic abuse. It was very difficult because it was not like I had a black eye or bruises. When the man takes charge and makes really good, well-thought-out (and prayed for) decisions, its pretty easy for 2. Nor, based on his presentation here, did it ever occur to me to just assume that Lone Voice is a Christian. Its brilliant. Weenie-chopping? It never occurred to me to suppose that 100pinkapples might not be a Christian. Here are the limits: No spanking children under 2, and no spanking teenagers. What you got for American never married women over the age of 40, including ones who are not under their fathers care? In this first article we will demonstrate how the practice of domestic discipline aligns perfectly with Biblical principles and commands regarding marriage. I had to compose myself and return to where everyone else was knowing that they all knew what just happened. Carry on. There are high security refuges for women such as your friend, and some women do indeed change their identity to make it difficult for their abusers to track them down. Because my Jack is taking the lead. I offer personal advice and mentorship in marriage to men or women who contact me. Its gonna happen. Debate is fine. Feminism is merely a modern Western aberration. And the whole of the Christian Far East. [redacted] is originally from England and is unfamiliar with local laws and believed Jamin. They are, after all, of their father the devil who is known as the accuser of the brethren. Its the word of God: I am the only one who has had the honesty actually to quote passages of scripture. christian domestic discipline Are there other women is situations this dire? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. 50 Things I Want To Tell My Daughter On Her 18thBirthday, To The Mother Figures In Our Lives: You Made Us Who We AreToday, Time To Drink From Gold Chalices Love Is Blind Season 4 IsHere, Why Horror Is So Much Scarier When Its Located In A BigCity, My HIV+ Story Is One I Refuse To Be AshamedOf. christian domestic discipline Our marriage is energized. Needless to say, I have never tested my husband again. You get all edgy. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. and going through Judges 4:9 all the way to Eph 5:23 and 1Tim 2:12). Anderson told Jamin it was strange and very uncommon, for someone to make a statement about having someone walk into their hand hard enough to leave marks on their throat. Oh, and if lonely wolf comes here and puts you down like he has done to others, if he comes abusing you by accusing you, we will know that he is just one more supposed Christian who has elected to do the devils work where you are concerned. He took off his belt, bent me over the counter, lifted up my skirt and proceeded to give me exactly what I deserved. However, the husbands are commanded to love us.Bottom linemen would rather be respected than loved. Such as, not seeing them alone, only meeting in public, and if you need overnight accommodations to see them, NEVER stay at their place or let them stay at yours. You cannot say you respect and love an adult when you treat them like a child and all these women who are letting their husbands hit them you cant love yourself. Change). Wait? Which is another reason that role playing is dangerousOK, Im not good enough for you, but if I dress up as Kim Kardashian, thats OK now?. Oh brother, that was too obvious. I will monitor all of your comments now. And should she submit and obey him if he asks someone else to punish her for something, including a spanking? Classical Conversations #7: Business or a Non-Profit; Cult or a Christian HomeschoolGroup? Thank you so much for answering all of these questions and your willingness to share your story publicly. Oh boy, here we go. The Bible advocates for stoning as do some Muslim countries. Just chalk it up to your personal preference and call it a day. .which is really the same problem that I see with a lot of church and family leadership. This new way has made us loving, more loving than ever before. Use only an open hand, no objects Cant get strength that will defend them a la Roy Rogers, so you get strength that will slap you around a la Gray or John Wayne in his worse moments. Finally, Daisy be more Christ-like; keep your nose out of my bedroom.. The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline, Follow Biblical Gender Roles on WordPress.com, Enduring and Overcoming the Trials and Temptations ofSingleness, Three Biblical Approaches to Sex inMarriage. She will need to learn some self-control with not crying out, or bite a pillow to keep quiet. It was just always his open hand on my bottom which made me feel like I could never tell someone else or explain it. Unless I agree with you 100%, Im outside of the will of God? A relationship that infantilizes a woman is one that clearly draws a more pathological group of people. Now here is the hilarious part you may have missed did you catch the guys credentials? Christian Domestic Discipline / Spencer Respect and Submission in domestic discipline Respect and Submission are of particular importance in a marriage because the standard marriage vows for the bride always included the phrase to love, honor and obey her husband. So anyway, of course God gives our husband and other authority persons who have our husbands permission to punish us. God made us women to serve and obey our husbands because he knows they needed help mates. Lydia00, Eph 5:21 does not contradict what follows. Please go and speak to a pastor in a completely different church from the one they were in (I should recommend a sister in a Pentecostal church, but thats just my personal suggestion). Now, I am not condoning what happened to Lauren, because it appears she was not consenting. I read someone say they did have to obey, even in that, because she is to obey in EVERYTHING. Many want a "guide", a manual to show them how to do it. I want any other women reading this to know that your (Lone Voices) position is NOT biblical, and God created women to lead and teach men if he gifted them in those areas, and God created women to be equals with men in marriage. Jamin said [redacted] tried to leave the bedroom and walked into his hands. When I was growing up, it was not in a household that practiced Christian Domestic Discipline. Im arguing that the word discipline entails a superior/inferior relationship and therefore not true consent. Soooo he is a modern psychologist? But that pastor I am speaking about, if she is worth her salt, will speak better words than me. While social sciences are a useful tool, you perfectly demonstrate how they can be used as a convenient tool to outlaw deranging opinions and lifestyles by justifying the move by supposed facts. But since then youve gone on to talk as though male headship is required in all Christian marriages, and as though feminism is some kind of dirty word. But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. And the part of the body does not change it from abuse to discipline if you were to grab a stranger and hit him on the bottom, youd be up for assault charges. First let me say that my husband and I have just recently found your site and think it is wonderful. I would commit some offense that my parents/husband thought was wrong, I was told I was going to be punished, I would end up over a lap and afterward would be told to pray. In an abusive home, children do not have a sense of a normal healthy marriage, so thismodeling of abusive behaviorcould affect generations. Many people even literally proceed in the manner I have just described. So husbands are not unilaterally to refuse conjugal relations to the wives, nor vice versa. I know some of each do as a weapon. The safety plan needs to be reviewed and modified whenever the situation changes e.g. In the above examples, we see non-denominational, charismatic/evangelical, Reformed Presbyterian denominations represented. Send in your testimonials! Aspire to knowledge and aspire to love, declare yourself ignorant and humble and you will find justice and wisdom for God does not reveal himself to arrogant people and this is why you are in darkness on this matter. [redacted] said Jamin has used pornography as a means of punishment towards [redacted]. And then after that we will spend several articles looking at cultural views of domestic discipline in America before the modern age. You are telling 100pinkapples that she needs to take a Christian response to her abusers and to her own pain, and to see a pastor for counselling. The article I linked to at 4:14 PM distinguishes between unforgiveness and grieving. Been hearing about abuses for OVER 50 years. Change). Especially when you factor in that they are free to leave these relationships anytime. At times he could be very sweet and charming. WebBDSM provides a helpful framework for communication and safe, consensual exploration. As far as this message is concerned I understand and respect your point. Its strikes me as odd that I am in the kind of relationship that we are in and, to be honest, I get what I want most of the time just by asking. People practicing Domestic Discipline are typically very mature and proactive people who really think through these aspects of their relationship. You choose to call it domestic discipline. Here is the link: https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/06/30/wife-asks-for-input-regarding-her-husband-who-paddles-her/. Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. The argument is that its consensual. Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. Please remember blog rules. And please dont discount the experiences of those whove suffered under religious patrio-centrism or just plain chauvinism. You all seem to be very sincere people, but you also seem to be very dangerous ones, because you have decided to be driven by ideology and intolerance. Dont just believe what an individual survivor tells you: though survivors have much wisdom based on their own experiences, their own experiences may not be generalisable to others completely, and this applies ESPECIALLY in regards to legal options. I suggest that there is no sin in anger born of grief. Lets treat adults like adult and lets avoid the temptation of playing the role of God. Jesus said to the Pharisees, I believe that the only people to spank a woman is a father, husband, mother, and maybe a disciplinarian. - I find your style offensive. Even the words used I think make some women question whether it is wrong or not. My father told me as a young teenager, rape is not that big of a deal. Male headship is followed all over the world.. The only time the word authority is used in conjunction of marriage in the New Testament is when the New Testament states that wives have authority over their husbands body. I am surprised that nobody else spoke up about that. You people that believe that spanking is abuse you have no comperhesion as to what its like deal with a hellish marriage and the damage on children. . Since then our relationship has grown into the most beautiful and wonderful one that I could ever imagine. And your friend, of course, if she is able to. Why not? So if not understanding DD is not understanding justice then you are already acknowledging that DD is non-consensual. Well, actually, to pray for abused women, even though we do not know who they are, is to accomplish much. When the man takes charge and makes really good, well-thought-out (and prayed for) decisions, its pretty easy for 2. I write about marital discipline in a Christian home at my website spankingyourwife.wordpress.com. But the Pastor wouldnt agree with her that her husband was being too strict. It should be private. I applaud you for wanting to help her. Its a logical progression. Not a lot of leaders of either gender out there, but we go for the carob; controlling. It might not be terribly feminist to say so, but other women like feeling powerless during conjugal relations. I shall expect some racist comments. Other times, my husband will listen, thank me for my input, but tell me that we are going to go with another answer. Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. So people actually choose to add their prefered dose of physical disciplining to leverage these psychological effects, it is an extra tool they use as part of their commitment to make things work with regards to the shared vision they have for their life (in which you have no business). Really? The definition Im using with the word submissive is the biblical definition of that. But what about husbands who are not following the Lord and asks them to violate the word of God. If he gets tired of his dominatrix, he needs to move out. I can also say , please sir may I go to bed without my nightgown and thats me asking to be intimate, Ben almost always says yes. No woman wants to be slapped around, and certainly not because it has anything to do with not being able to find a macho man to date. Please go and speak to a pastor in a completely different church from the one they were in (I should recommend a sister in a Pentecostal church, but thats just my personal suggestion) and I know you will get more than a sympathetic ear. I am not estranged from my parents but I did not get their support. They shift shame, fault and blame to the one who has been wronged. I am pretty sure that we will continue this lifestyle for as long as we live because it has done wonders for our marriage. What I can however say is that what you describe isnt generally speaking the spirit of domestic discipline. My sister and brother continue to suffer as a result. As someone that has been burned and sexually abused I can say there is nothing worse then intercourse with a misogynist, men that go on about male headship, female submission to men. 1. Gods judgments from Gen 3:14 3:17 set matters straight, and gave the man more work into the bargain. 4000 kids a day get killed for being conceived in the wrong womb. His wife helps with the teaching too. His wife is swatting him with a riding crop because he failed to be a good pony and iron her clothes. I think youd be surprised at how educated these people are. Never, dear Julie Anne, not for one second, did I imagine you would have the remotest understanding let alone any empathy for what I was trying to express. Jesus Christ did away with male rulership over women and clarified that women are equals to men. He thinks this makes me more submissive, and thus more available to learn from Gods word. The Bible does not teach that men have God given authority over women. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. They took all her her clothes off in front of everybody and then she got a spanking by the Pastor and her husband with their belts. Just to let you know that this comment section is an echo chamber of better than thou and how can this folly even exist people. WebThen I went to college and met my husband James, and became a Christian. (LogOut/ But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. As for other men, besides the father to spank her, that isnt right. The thing is I never felt threatened. Just utterly powerless. Im only part way through the rather long article, which was suggested by Lydia, but from what I have read so far, I can suggest that http://www.nacr.org/wordpress/160/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations might be worth a look see. But unlike the "Cry U.S.E." Most wives cant be as obedient and submissive as God wants unless their Husbands are strict and are willing to give them spankings when they mess up. Beautiful Surrender: 13 Godly Christian Wives Each jurisdiction has its own laws and its own policies for how law enforcement deal with domestic abuse. Its not right. Didnt the APA decide homosexuality is just fine? A lot of people, especially women who have been sexually abused by self professing Christian men or abused by a husband, are rejecting Christianity because of your sexist, un-biblical views. Im afraid were wasting our time attempting to engage somebody who justifies the abuse of women. (Both know of the relationship my husband and I have, as we have talked with them about the joys of a CDD relationship.). I was hoping the article was good no to come out and say that all hitting, whether it is an adult or child, is assault, but I didnt see that. I did go back and find the entire 700 club episode from that day and InContext it was very understandable. What you need to understand and accept is that people having this type of relationship proceed in a way closer to this scenario than the romantic date approach you imagine. science is wrong on domestic violence because you said so? As a society have always restricted what two consenting adults can do. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. If you are currently living (or have lived) the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle and you would like to share how it has helped your marriage or relationship, please email your story and mention that you wish to share your experiences with other people. Spare the rod, spoil the wife Lydia: Just saying my exegesis (please note the spelling) is wrong does not establish that it is. What a heartless bunch. Christian Domestic Discipline (starting with Genesis 2:18 and 3:16 funny how many great verses in the Bible are 3:16, isnt it? These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. There might be an Ok, you know I want these things done and all week you have slacked off, you have until tomorrow (or tonight or whatever) and I will remind you if I have to, but he has never had to. How Can He Learn It? Now, some Christian ladies are happy to accept the term feminism and apply it to themselves, so long as it is defined as something like the belief that women are equal to men and should be treated with respect by all. Aspire to knowledge and aspire to love, declare yourself ignorant and humble and you will find justice and wisdom for God does not reveal himself to arrogant people and this is why you are in darkness on this matter., This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. You take it up with him., the wife and the husband having power or authority over each others bodies is in the context of them not refusing each other conjugal relations (due benevolence). But through this, the emotional, physical, and mental connections between us are incredible, especially the physical. I get two on Sunday, one in the morning before worship, and one in the evening before bible study. After everything shes been through at the hands of bible-spouting men, I wouldnt be surprised if shes given up on the faith. We were (and still are) a very young couple and both of our families had faith in our relationship. When we protect and defend abused wives, we are also protecting and defending their children and future generations. Despite what you think, domestic discipline is not some sort of mindless activity done by brutal men and victimized women. And yet. And the whole of sub-saharan Christian Africa. Its perverse secular culture which advocates and promoted S&M kinky bedroom games not the Bible. In light of this typical new customer journey, I think its reasonable to suggest that people choosing this lifestyle put much more thinking into their relationships and are more intellectually alert than the average person going the default way. Interesting. Christian Domestic Discipline Im arguing that the word discipline entails a superior/inferior relationship and therefore not true consent. I was then put in the corner and Ben was instructed on how I should behave during corner time. I know it will be very, very enlightening to many people. There may be role-plays or dressing up. WebBDSM provides a helpful framework for communication and safe, consensual exploration. Hes not a victim, hes a kinky dude with odd underwear. But I have come to believe that there was a form of CDD/DD in the days of the bible. Wolf goes on to demandnot suggest, but demandthat you forgive. One clue to you that your gender role views are un-bilbical is that they only apply to, are often only applied to, middle class, white American married mothers. Its happenin. In the Garden, the serpent went over the woman, she went over her husband, and he went over God. I find this very insightful. I think you are exactly right. He demanded that his wife call him sir.. If he loved his wife he would not want her to have sex against her will, if Christian men loved women they would not want them to have sex against their will. This is just like disciplining kids, just discipline. Reading this comment section is like reading a handbook of how liberal thinkers (and do not assume that I am a conservative), go about turning people who think differently than them into mentally sick people. And do you realize that labelling people as abusers is a very serious and insulting thing to do ? JULY 1, 2015 @ 8:50 AM what happens if your HOH does something? Youve really got to be ok with the idea that people may live a life that you feel totally unacceptable for yourself if they freely consent to live that life. Spanking your wife because your tiny little denomination thinks thats holy? We had a post on this a while ago in some marriages, yes. This wife did not like getting spanked. Domestic Discipline BeenThereDoneThat, No, actually, you cant. [redacted] never told the investigating deputy the truth about what was going on that night because Jamin told her they would both be arrested, and law enforcement would take their children away. Or did he simply say a prayer for him and his wife, that they would be able to work it out in a godly way? What Is The Husbands Role In Christian Domestic Discipline? When this day happens, the laws will already have been written but will not be enforced or taken seriously anymore, so with many regards, the state of women will be worse than it used to be because theyll be nothing clear they can do to improve their fate. Even when we get punished when we think we didnt do anything wrong we cant be disobedient. And make no mistake about it, any husband, pastor or other supposed Christian who claims the right to exercise coercive authority over another, excepting only to counter evil, is an abuser. A Lone Voice, you have major issues with women having the right to say NO to men. Good intentions yield more good intentions. Honestly I feel like I feel like these testimonials are written by perverts mostly old men who never had have been married or just absolutely disgusting men who are trying to make this normal I dont think these are actually written by real people actually experiencing this mess because quite honestly I would hope if you were that much of a Christian, that much in a head of household relationship your husband would not be comfortable with you describing your sore, red bottom if so he is as much of a pervert as that Pastor was.
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