The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. You know, classy ones. Spy is sitting in the chair in front of the monitors while Soldier and Demoman stand behind him. At 1:35, the Medic's left hand clips with his backpack. Cut to Scout and Miss Pauling, who are also looking up at the ceiling]. Ah. It was released by Valve on October 10, 2007 as the multiplayer component of the Orange Box, which also includes Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Portal. 6. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. You know, classy ones. Spy: [turns] You? It reappears at 2:45. As the camera pulls back farther, the Pyro can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small bread monster darting around his legs like a puppy as he tries to keep track of it.]. Behind him, the Pyro and Spy are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]. [He uses the dummy to slap Scout across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. ], [SPY'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the Spy sitting back in his leather arm chair. Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. ], [A match is lit, revealing Scout and Miss Pauling pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]. That isbig news. . ], [The Medic leans forward with interest. The Heavy is somewhat intrigued, but the Soldier is utterly amazed, reaching out with both hands to grab the loaf. She looks at him quizzically in silence. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval. [The Demoman confusingly mouths "post-coitus" and the Scout is nearly in tears with laughter.]. Miss Pauling steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. This is most likely a mistake in model posing. Wait! ], [As Miss Pauling walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. All right? As long as nobody teleports any bread. What have you two eggheads been workin' on? by He hits Scout in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Engineer and Medic with a pair of teleporters set up between them. We're not dying! [An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as the group look up at the ceiling. You fuckin furry, you did collect everyone's dying wish? We have the resources. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. Whoa Not exactly, Soldier. Privacy Policy. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. You are amazing with ladies. [Spy stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Scout. [He looks down at the cart. [Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. Scout and a busty, blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. Spy: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me. - Question? Soldier: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days. It continues down the left lane. The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Scout: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry. It hates me so much! ], [Front shot of the van pulling into the garage. Scout, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the bread monster and slams his club into it. Upset at Scout for wasting her one day off a year, Miss Pauling begins to leave. They enter the room that Soldier, Spy and Demoman are in and inform them that they are fine as long as no more bread is teleported. ], [Cut to the Scout back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. Goodbye! ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. Cause I [He turns back while the Medic breaks open the loaf with a sickening crunch. He attempts to mimic the Spy's actions, but instead sends the dummy flying into the Reel-to-Reel player behind them. Okay [He walks up to the Spy.] Side view of cab with the Scout leaning back resignedly. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busywess. Cookie Notice Expiration Date also shows that there is still a RED team that is still very focused on defending the RED intelligence, so either it takes place before Gray's rise or the two teams are pitted against each other once again afterwards for some reason. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. This painting is a parody of. Where have you been sending it?! Miss Pauling: Actually this is my only day off this year. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. Engineer provides each team member with a wristwatch that will count down to the time of the mercenaries' demises. The head of the dummy falls off as the music reaches a crescendo, and Spy eyes it with a bemused expression on his face. The Soldier, confused, counts off: one, two], [He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. Spy simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. The Engineer walks up to Soldier and Medic and places his arms around their shoulders.]. The background music stops], (Editors note: I did not edit that last paragraph other than hands to paws. Ow. Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with a dragon. Scout: OwO Wait! 4. Spy: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. You want to be my lover?! She is slightly irritated that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. Copy and paste your choice of scripts, featuring the "Meet the Team" videos by Valve. Heavy revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the bread monster, firing his weapon. [4] Reddit I have done nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. Medic: Vell, let's see. The Heavy momentarily looks guilty. [He brandishes a BLU briefcase ] Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. Here's Everything You Need To Know About The Crowder Vs. Owens Divorce Controversy So Far. Scout: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry. [The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black. TF2's Expiration Date is a beloved animated short about Scout, Spy, Miss Pauline, Bread, and the rest of the team. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] ], Engineer: Whoa! ], [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. Scout tells her about the death prognosis just as the two are helped out of the remains of the gigantic Bread Monster by the rest of the team. The Heavy still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. Spy: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket? 'r' ], Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. Spy, look at all of this. ], [Interior shot of the cab. You are better than me. ], [Engineer looks at her, then abandons his Sentry, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. No. Scout: Oh [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. Wanna do it? Meanwhile, Scout stops. Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. [he snaps the case shut] [The camera switches to the mercenaries walking down a hallway. Um. [he lights a cigarette]. Scout looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. And this here. Deep chimes accent the moment], [The strings slow then stop. Spy: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. Medic: Where?! The RED Bread van's hood ornament reads 'Sword'. It's just bread that gets tumors! The post received over 36,000 likes and reblogs in seven years (shown below, left). The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Scout put a card into the bucket?! Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches. One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. Y'all ought to take a look at this. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. [The Medic shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. It uses the same firing sound as the, This gun heavily resembles the real-world. 1. When the Soldier slams Scout on the table and strangles him, Scout chokes out "Not my fault." She lets out a yelp as one of the bread monster's tentacles slams into the ground. We are going to live forever! [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! You did collect everyone's dying wish? Miss Pauling: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. Expiration Date teamfortress 1.2M subscribers Subscribe 36M views 8 years ago Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. The head of the dummy falls off as the music reaches a crescendo, and Spy eyes it with a bemused expression on his face. Ominous sounding strings start up. Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. ], [They back up towards the blast doors as the bread monster lumbers towards them slowly. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Scout, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. At the other end, the Demoman and Sniper can be seen playing the Piano and Saxophone, respectively. [turns] Scout. We have the resources. 2. Um. Miss Pauling: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the briefcase safe okay? ], Spy: Final Question [Cut to a shot of Spy, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor. twitchquotes: "H-h-ey Rania, could we go on a date when I visit Europe for ESGN?" Kripp blushes as he asks him timidly over skype. Spy: [sighing] Fantastic. Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! Spy: Our first dying wish is Scout's. I'm leaving the van now. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, red roses, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. Spy: [An expression of disbelief crosses his face] Yourself? Miss Pauling: Oh! The background music stops]. Miss Pauling: [distracted] Scout? ], [Scout can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. The Engineer smacks his Sentry Gun with his wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and he motions for Demoman to move up. The two notice that the dove that the Bread Monster ate is flying harmlessly out of the mouth of the monster. You're a failure. Scout: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right? [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. The fork flies out of his paw and lands on the Demoman's eyepatch, whose other eye immediately widens. MeeM - TF2. The Sniper tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. Spy: [smugly] Asking out that dial tone again, I see. His brow wrinkles]. [he looks around at their faces] What? The Spy calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. 1. At 12:41, the Heavy can be seen falling back from the monster, right next to Ms. Pauling. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. [The camera cuts to a shot of the Spy walking behind Heavy's back. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. They take shelter behind it. The monitor buzzes off. [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. A fight breaks out, with the other mercenaries rushing to their aid. Scout: Yeah, sure! The Heavy momentarily looks guilty. Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. [Cut to Miss Pauling on the monitor. Scout: Wait. Cut to Scout and Miss Pauling, who are also looking up at the ceiling]. Then they realize. ], [Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the Spy unceremoniously drops a metal pail. ], [He flips a page and frowns. Scout: Wait. Back in the previous room, Scout can be seen awkwardly dancing energetically. The rear bumper falls off. Engineer: Well yeah. Copypasta Scripts of All "Meet the __" Videos. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. Realizing this is seven years old just hit me like a fucking truck, Jr. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands. We cannot teleport bread anymore! 14. dogman15 6 yr. ago. Scout: [taken aback] Right! ], Spy: We are mercenaries. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. I have done nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. Miss Pauling climbs to her feet and darts away, pressing herself up against the RED payload bomb. The screen cuts to black. And you just wasted it on-- [She looks around her, pausing mid-sentence.] Ooh, look! At 11:29 when the Medic berCharges the Heavy, it does not affect the Medic. Scout: Um, never mind OnO, Miss Pauling: RUN! The Heavy is mildly amused.]. ], [They back up towards the blast doors as the bread monster lumbers towards them slowly. We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know. She ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. After arriving back at the base, Scout tries to ask her out, but he is unable to think of anything to say to her. He stammers and scratches his face.]. Medic: Times four years. This could be an Easter Egg and may not be an error. Where have you been sending it?! [He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. The Pyro can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. The RED Demoman takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Immediately following the release of the video, the line "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days" gained popularity within the Team Fortress 2 community. How could this happen tf2heavy. Miss Pauling: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the briefcase safe okay? [She pushes past the Scout, who follows her.] Wait! Both Scout and Miss Pauling look down at the wood below them. [sigh] Okay. [The bread creature attempts to bite the Medic again as the Soldier leans in for a closer look. At 6:23, a lighter is floating under the comic the Pyro is holding, presumably originally intended to be in his hand, to try and light the comic on fire with. Soldier: [pulling out a card] You did not read mine! The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of a cactus with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]. Engineer: [Threateningly] How much? A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! The Sniper arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Scout, freeing him from its grasp. Ve all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day [Cut to the rest of the team, Scout is still rubbing his sore neck, the Soldier stands stoically, the Heavy still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and the Engineer replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! Miss Pauling: [quickly] I was furious. I'm going to be dead. Members. The Engineer picks up his PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. TF2 Scout Metal Bat. [He waves the Scout off and runs forward into battle. At 6:05, Spy's microphone is not visible but later appears before he pushes the button at 6:15.
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