When all the guys my age were back in high school, we fantasized about having sex with Raquel Welch. When Americans turned on their TVs and saw Steven Harper standing at a podium in the Rose Garden, everybody thought for a moment itd all been a bad dream.President Obama predicted the Supreme Court will not overturn ObamaCare. President Biden gleefully mocked Donald Trump Friday for issuing a limited set of trading cards as NFT for $99 on the crypto market. Celebrations; Food; Parenting; Health; . Hollywood legendary movie star Raquel Welch died after a short illness in L.A. Wednesday at age eighty-two. The inventor of the Stairmaster died at 54, the inventor of gymnastics died at 57 and the inventor of opium died at the age of 116, during an earthquake. Hamilton: Did Madonna get stung by a bee? Not just muppets Hamilton: ATM in the gym lobby is best machine to impress the women, Hamilton: Bud Light has always been trans its water that identifies as beer, Hamilton: I found nuclear launch codes in a fortune cookie, Hamilton: MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning, Fox raises him from the dead, Hamilton: The Founding Fathers would be on the FBI watch list today, Hamilton: Payoffs, hush money show Trump knows how to negotiate, Hamilton: Settling for Partly Cloudy Daniels, Hamilton: Alliance aligns with March Madness bracket picks, Hamilton: Not everybody can be Irish; somebody has to drive, Hamilton: Vodka mixes well with everything but decisions, Hamilton: Tax refund will pay for that dozen eggs, Hamilton: Money left in your bank account after taxes is an IRS red flag, Hamilton: Tinker Bell has new sister in latest movie, Hamilton: Life in prison is diminishing deterrent for the aging, Hamilton: This candidate gets you four presidents in one, Uncle Sams tall hat handy when its being passed around, Hamilton: Look how much I still owe to Ukraine, Hamilton: Prez shoots down balloon angioplasty idea out of habit. Fox News interviewed House Republicans who demand to learn all that's on Hunter Biden's laptop, suspecting it'll reveal shady business deals with his father and uncle. Argus Hamilton's humor column, now in its second decade, appears five days a week on the Internet and in over 100 newspapers across the U.S. And to cap it off, Ruperts much-younger fiance just called off the marriage. The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. Yes, you can easily cancel or upgrade your pledge at any time. Oklahoma Speakers is a speakers bureau that specializes in helping meeting planners, corporations, and associations locate, select, and confirm the best speakers, entertainers and other talent for their events and meetings. Meet Argus Hamilton, the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." One boat capsized and steering mountings were knocked loose.Its times like this when Mitt Romneys yacht elevator in La Jolla suggests hed be a wise steward of the U.S. economy.Current TV fired Keith Olbermann as host of the cable networks evening news show Friday. Argus Hamilton on the News: Duck Dynasty & Much More! Copyright Notice: This website is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws. They just added family and relationship counseling because the minute the bank opened its doors, the lobby was filled with beautiful groupies.The Daily Caller quoted a book Monday saying Rick Perry was on painkillers during the GOP debates to relieve lower back pain. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. You can enjoy Argus' nationally syndicated column five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. By Argus Hamilton. Be the first to receive new merch items! Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Each month, get a new mug, shirt, sticker, etc. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Donald Trump faces possible indictment in New York today for a hush money payment to the porn star. Fox News cited an intelligence report Thursday saying UFO sightings have surged in the past two years in the U.S. CNN, NBC and ABC reported there were 400 sightings of UFOs in the U.S. last week. The Daily Mail says Google CEO Larry Page is on a private island in the Fijis until the virus ends. I would like to join the exclusive Laugh Factory Members Club. By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism. Search for real estate and find the latest listings of Cagnes-sur-Mer Property for sale. In their new ad campaign, Carnival promises to treat you like Read more, In the news, Cyprus agreed to seize ten percent of the money in high-level Cyprus bank accounts to avoid bankruptcy. The Comedy Store is sending me down to San Diego on New Years Eve to perform at the Comedy Store La Jolla on its 45th anniversary. Im an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist, Argus says. Prescott Interior Designs of Atlanta told Yahoo News people should change their toilet seats every five years. Things even out. He must have passed the physical. U.S. numbers will start declining as our numbers lag a week behind England's. Hamilton: What happened to presidential quality control? Theyd better give it to us. [1] [6] Biography Portage Daily Register; Reedsburg Times-Press; A taxing Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. Hes a loyal Democrat. Call us to speak with a booking agent to discuss your event or specific speaker request. The students dont mind.They think its worth it to work day and night for free because if they make it to the Final Four they get drafted by the NBA.The Mega Millions first prize was split by three ticketholders Saturday. Commentary. Hamilton-Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are all mine, Hamilton: Cant find financing for an egg salad sandwich, Hamilton: UFOs dropped off classified docs in a Delaware garage, Hamilton- All China needs is the Colonels secret recipe. My direct ancestor Lord James Hamilton founded Northern Ireland for King James I in 1606 and flooded County Ulster with British Protestants. Check out new hilarious editorial cartoons page, updated daily! Billboard quoted Cardi B denouncing the soaring price of groceries in Los Angeles supermarkets Tuesday, prompting economists to say her quote shows inflation is beginning to hit the rich. He has responded to accusations he gave unwanted hugs the same way he'd answer if accused of beheading a movie studio owner's horse. Please Note: All American Speakers Bureau is a full-service talent booking agency providing information on booking Argus Hamilton for speaking engagements, personal appearances and corporate events. They say that life imitates art but more often it imitates Gilligan's Island. Please join them, and help support independent media! Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Contents of this site are Copyright 2023 Prescott Newspapers, Inc. and Western News&Info, Inc. All rights reserved. Argus Hamilton Request a Quote Column Seen in the Daily Oklahoman for Two Decades Official Comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial Speaker Fees Keynote: $12,500 Travel Fees US: Round-trip airfare and expenses. Well, I don't know about Laurel, she looks more like Hardy to me. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: From A-Rod to Carlos Danger, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: The Royal Baby & Much More. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) To back President Obamas gun control measures Read more, The news, as one twisted mind sees it In the news, McDonalds announced a huge increase in sales in November after its first-ever drop in October. The demonstration was amazing. Read more, In the news, Bill Clinton hosts the annual Bob Hope Desert Classic in Palm Springs all week. We represent our speakers equally, so our goal is to provide a keynote speaker that best fits YOU. I read about it in a Conde Nast tourism article, Two Reasons to Visit Seattle. Argus comments on Medicare, Duck Dynasty, Francoise Hollande and more. Editorials Letters Columns Rants & Raves. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Umbrella-gate & More! The St. Louis Post Dispatch said Anheuser-Busch executives met with beer distributors to assure them all marketing from now on will be vetted from the top. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. The difference is President Biden twice last week indicated that he is planning to announce that hes running for re-election for president soon. Argus Hamilton. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". Oklahoma Hypnotist, Ventriloquist, Announcer & "Voice of OETA" Featured on "Good Morning America" and in TIME magazine Known as Darci Farmer's Long Time Coach (the Hit Sensation Seen on America's Got Talent), Former ABC War Correspondent; CNN's Former Chief Terrorism Correspondent Recently Embedded in Iraq & Afghanistan with ABC Subject of the ABC documentary film "The Hornet's Nest" (released 2014), Motivational Speaker and Author Customer Experience Expert Customer Service Speaker and Author. It costs $6 million for a 30-second commercial. Theyre getting clobbered at the All You Can Eat Buffets. Watch Do the Bidens ever take one day off? The Silicon Valley Banks failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the banks woke business practices. bio for Argus Hamilton agency, manager, speaker fees, speaking agency entertainment booking agency, speaker's fee, how to book, booking agencies for lectures, speaking event, celebrity appearances for hire, who is agent, manager, publicist, who represents, speakers bureau management who represents Argus Hamilton. Hamilton: State of Union is strong; at least when it comes to eggs. He is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Get access to a bi-monthly live Q&A with Argus (and sometimes a special guest!). Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton Published Dec. 21, 2022 Miss Manners notes the recent sharp decline in etiquette and social manners in public. There are currently 157 luxury homes for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur on JamesEdition. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Across the Street Courier Cooks Neighbors Puzzles Real Estate Top Jobs. It was reported Tuesday that Las Vegas hotels on the Strip were having a real cannabis problem. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. When he's in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! If he keeps quoting Southern segregationists he could wind up receiving the GOP nomination at a brokered convention.Oregon sociology professor Kari Norgard made world news Monday likening climate change doubters to Southern racists and slavery apologists. Become a Humor Times patron via Patreon.com! We thank you. It was a challenge for the legendary golfer. Its nearly impossible for his friends to get him the right birthday gift. Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. <style> body { -ms-overflow-style: scrollbar; overflow-y: scroll; overscroll-behavior-y: none; } .errorContainer { background-color: #FFF; color: #0F1419; max-width . Classic photo of Argus performing on The Tonight Show. Records show most lottery winners go through their winnings in five years. The same day, Chinas navy sent three warships into Taiwanese territorial waters. AAE is one of the premier celebrity booking agencies and top keynote speakers bureaus in the world. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. It spooked even Big Bank customers like me. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Hamilton: In those Super Bowl ads, its about what sells beer. Published Jan. 25, 2021. Now Biden wants to issue his own trading card, but he's terrified they'll put his career stats on the back of the card. GOP Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina came down with coronavirus Monday even though he'd been already vaccinated months ago. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts stepped in Monday and gave Title 42 a chance to stop the invasion of illegal immigrants and deadly drugs pouring across the border. North Korea's dictator Kim Jung Un was on hand for the launch of two intercontinental ballistic missiles Sunday which were to prove he could attack the United States. sustaining monthly donation. Donald Trumps indictment was ripped by conservative legal experts Friday and glorified by pundits on the Left. Copyright 2023 All American Speakers Bureau. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Twinkies, Royal Babies & More, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Paula Deen & Much More. So far Read more, Apple introduces the new iPad Air, demonstrates it on the ObamaCare website Apple introduced a new iPad and called it the iPad Air Tuesday. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? They just made it into the ocean. And it was shot down for good reason. Jay Leno got a standing ovation Sunday after he crashed and fell off his motorcycle a month after he caught fire while working under his car. Hamilton: Anheuser-Busch regrets its costly Bud Light move? Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are mine. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Friday, April 23, 2010 Argus Hamilton's column for 4-23-10 A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Tom Brady was reported by Radar Online Tuesday to have decided to spend the next year before he becomes an NFL sportscaster performing stand-up comedy. St. Patricks Day Parades are held today, a precious day for Irish Catholic Americans. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. I hope Oscar night spotlights glamour and movie magic and not political issues. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus jokes. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. The U.S. government on Thursday allowed Taiwan to purchase F-16s from Lockheed Martin and missiles from Raytheon, in a grand day for the defense industry. Naturally Disney changed everything to make it acceptable to todays woke culture. We just dont Read more, Carnival reimbursed the U.S. for rescuing two liners stranded at sea with overflowing sewage early this year. Contact Argus@ArgusHamilton.com for more information. New Zealand transgender weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was gracious to the IOC, to Japan and to her fans after she failed all three lifts with the whole world watching. I compare the voting rights bill to Jussie . As a member, you receive exclusive content, community access, behind-the-scenes updates, and the pride of fueling work that matters to you. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. Porn Hub offered to help the White House fix the ObamaCare website Tuesday. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." See our Privacy Policy. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him its 2023, I dont see color. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Editorial Cartoons Puzzles From Print . Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Miley Cyrus and Much More! In a related story, it was just revealed that salt water salmon caught near Seattle contain both antidepressants and cocaine. Its so sad.If PGA golfers would just tee it up in the rough every now and then when nobodys looking, they might get it out of their system.Californias Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the state ban on affirmative action in college admissions Monday. It also identifies the celebrants who need to go to rehab. After a couple of days the place starts to smell like a stable. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that." Shes going by the book. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. Let's see what our Doctors of the Soul have to say. Yesterday in Beverly Hills I got out of a traffic ticket by pretending that Im woke. SPORTS. Barries classic 1904 English stage hit. The World Cup in the Persian Gulf kingdom of Qatar drew universal praise for the host country for how well the crowds behaved. All the trans-genders in the Games have given little girls who want to grow up to achieve Olympic stardom a new motto to live by. He said unelected federal judges shouldnt overturn legislation. Watch Argus tell all of the stories from the early days at The Store to today and everything in between. People magazine just named her least Likely Ever to Become President. However last week in L.A., I. He is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including, , by weekly business papers including the. Any debate between Trump and Biden should be held in the balcony of the Muppet Theater. President Biden was a big hit in Ireland Wednesday. Read more, In the news: Toronto Mayor, Obamacare & More! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. All Rights Reserved. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Im starting to think Im responsible for this pandemic Buffalo warmed up Thursday ending the citys weeklong record blizzard home shutdown. Simone showed tremendous courage by stepping down from the very top because her mental state isn't quite right. During the shutdown, the cable news showed a Buffalo man trudging his way through six feet of snow and clearing a path barehanded. They said it shows that in the past World Cups it was the gays who caused all the trouble. Tweet with a location. St. Patricks Day celebrations were held nationwide Friday honoring the accomplishments of the Irish people, their culture, their contributions to literature, and their passion for self-determination in Ireland. Supermarket News reports shortages of tinned fish, and lettuce, dwindling beef supplies, and even a champagne shortage, along with the egg shortage causing poultry products to skyrocket. Argus Hamilton on the News: Porn Hub Offers to Help Fix Obamacare Site. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Governor Cuomo was questioned for hours over sex harassment charges. Read more, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. Its always my richest crowd of the year. [6] Robin Williams called him "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom". Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Hamilton: Do you know all the letters of the alphabet? Dr. Fauci warned Americans to wear three bathing suits before getting in the pool. Some of them wanted to exclude massage parlors, dog tracks and porn shops but didnt have the votes. Be the first on your block to get the new Humor Times t-shirt!! The court ruled that its discriminatory to make only the white and Asian high school students do their homework.Apple was reported Monday to be using college interns who work for free in Apples Chinese assembly factories. And Sunday marks the Protestant Holiest of Holies, the final round of the Masters at Augusta National. The Los Angeles Times reports the second man to step foot on the moon, NASAs legendary Buzz Aldrin married a much younger woman on his 93rd birthday Saturday in a ceremony in Beverly Hills. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. sandra bullock bryan randall split, best all inclusive resorts mexico, thread lift complications,
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